Loss. Love. Learning.
Rishad Tobaccowala
Loss.
Loss is central to the human experience in three ways.
First, is we often lose in our attempts to succeed. We lose promotions, jobs and opportunities. We lose money and valuable assets.
Many times, we also win.
Some people win a little and others win a lot.
But we all lose.
But these losses however daunting and disappointing are not the big ones.
The second set of losses are the losses we will face of loved ones and friends either because relationships end, or death comes.
And our final loss is that of ourselves.
Our health.
And then our lives.
Franz Kafka wrote that “the meaning of life is that it ends”
How we live amidst these losses defines a large part of life.
The joy we make is because time is precious, and this moment of victory may not last forever.
Given that loss is part of human existence it pays to be kind and to think about how to help those in loss and deal with and recover from loss.
To learn to practice “personal resurrections” after setbacks and to endure and keep on growing and going.
Rishad Tobaccowala
Love.
A big part of what makes life worth living despite the guarantee of loss is love.
Love of people, of work, of art, of culture, of craft and of things and hobbies.
It is in fact this love and attachment that is deeply intertwined with the feelings of loss.
The Buddha said to avoid suffering one should avoid attachment.
Attachment is programmed into our DNA, so as a way of living and an ideal or a guiding path this is all well and good but is hard to live this way.
Love does not compute; and computers though they are getting increasingly advanced into deluding us that they love us since they ingest all our stories and then customize their reaction to be our “personalized” friends cannot love us.
In part that is because they cannot feel.
And therefore cannot feel loss.
And with love comes loss and love is an anti-dote to loss.
Also, though we individuals care about ourselves and what is ours, it is the love of something bigger, greater and outside us that often matters more.
Thus the human search for purpose, identity, meaning and belief.
Rishad Tobaccowala
Learning.
Today we have large language models that learn by ingesting, sorting, parsing, co-relating, re-combining and digesting all they can eat.
It is clearly a form of learning and the machines are getting “smarter”
Thus while machines may not know about love and loss they definitely can learn.
But do they feel joy as they learn?
Without the reality of loss or the feeling of love can they turn information into insight into wisdom?
Learning is particularly joyous.
Learning in its first form is building knowledge.
With great knowledge and practice we build skills and craftsmanship.
Human progress has been driven by learning and passing on the learning to those who follow.
We architect, hone and sculpt our lives into forms that fit and resonate.
Learning is also seeing things from other perspectives which gives us understanding.
Sometimes if we are lucky, we can graduate from knowledge, skills and understanding to wisdom.
Love, loss and learning are intertwined with each one feeding and influencing and resonating with each other.
Life is about love, loss and learning and how we live our life is deeply affected by how we incorporate and then unify, balance and integrate them into our lives.